Turning Myself into a Lab Rat

Yes, I have been lazy about posting again, but bright side, I’ve been balancing the rest of my life very well!

Except for one area. I’ve been going a little crazy with the drinks lately.

Don’t get confused, I’m in no way dependent, but when I have partaken in some silly juice, it’s a lot of fucking silly juice. I honestly like the feeling of being intoxicated. You just don’t give a fuck and that can be really nice sometimes.

drunk

But what is this doing to my body? Specifically, my weight? We all know that alcohol has hidden sugars and calories that we don’t think about for one reason or another, so sitting down and drinking a bottle of wine with friends without thinking can add up pretty quick when you think about it.

So I’ve decided to run a little experiment.

What type of physical changes will I see if I don’t drink any alcohol for the month of June?

I don’t drink very often during the week, but I do go ham on the weekends and holy shit does that ruin my diet. Will I lose more weight? Will I see changes in my skin? More so, will I see changes in my weekend habits? I definitely plan on keeping updates on how things change and while I probably won’t have a drink tomorrow, I will only be considering changes that occur during the month of June.

I don’t have one specific reason to be doing this besides morbid curiosity. I know that I can go a month without drinking, but I’m genuinely curious about what it will mean for my health. For all I know, this could be something completely mind blowing and I’ll rarely drink ever again! OR! It could show nothing changing and I go back to my regular life.

I guess only time will tell.

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Forging a Relationship with Myself

I haven’t written in a while, completely breaking my own rules that I was dedicated to following when I first started to write this blog. Sadly, my moods have been controlling my actions a little bit more than I would like lately and it’s affecting my good habits a bit.

I will say that even though I don’t have my photographic evidence, I have been walking on the weekends, just in a grumpy sort of way that did not include picture taking.

But on we go….

dnno

As I’ve mentioned before in this neverending story, a large reason that I really enjoy my yoga classes are the “intent” that my teachers offer us every class. Sometimes its something fairly broad, like a feeling, but other times it is something more specific, such as the intent offered yesterday.

Apparently Harvard finished a 75 year study about what truly makes people happy, a meaning of life type of mindset if you will. What they found was that it was not money or things that truly make people happy, but instead it is the relationships that we keep in our lives.

I thought about this a lot while I bent and snapped (if you don’t know this reference I highly encourage you to do some research) and twisted and unwound. I don’t have a million relationships with others, but the ones I do have range from general pleasantries every once in a while, to deep, emotional, close relationships. But then I started to go deeper.

What about my relationship with myself?

I never had a healthy relationship with myself, not until recently when I decided to make it a priority along with my other life changes. Its easy to not have a relationship with yourself. We are distracted by things around us and worries about others, not paying attention to what we are doing and how much we can turn into a completely different person then we used to know, without even realizing that it’s happening.

You catch yourself starting to do and say things that you wouldn’t have a year ago. Is it because something happened? Is it based on a feeling? An action committed by another? There are so many reasons it hurts my head thinking about it. In the end I don’t think it matters why we change as much as it does that we know we are, and that we are content with who we are becoming.

My first step was starting this blog. I’ve always been able to think better when I write, process thoughts clearer. I always feel that I can be a more honest person when words are written rather than spoken. I think that it is because of this that I’m starting to find a better relationship with myself. I understand who I am becoming as a person, a woman, and a spouse, and I’m learning to be more honest with myself about all of these things as well.

Along with this understanding and relationship I am forging, I’m starting to learn how to be my own person while still keeping the other relationships that are so important in my life. I am learning that I am my own keeper, completely, when I am honest with myself and that as long as I keep this relationship strong and honest, that I will be happier in all others.