Going to School (Post College)

So I graduated a while ago. I did class, wore the silly hat, walked the stage, and found a career. I thought that I was done with school, but as a young professional, I’ve now found out otherwise.

While I work in marketing, my degree is actually in journalism. I thought that I would work for a wonderful paper or magazine and just write day and night, but then, very quickly, papers and magazines starting shutting down, no longer able to stay in business again the internet. So what is a newly graduated journalism student to do in this scary world of adulthood.

I got into marketing.

Okay, technically I got into administration first. I few many things career wise as stepping stones, starting somewhere until I’ve gained the right amount of skills and knowledge to move onto the next task of position. I figured that administration would give me the experience in an office, as well as improve the communications skills that had been preached to me for the last 4 years. This was how I ended up in the A/E/C industry (architecture/engineering/construction) where I’m fairly sure I will never leave from.

I worked as a receptionist/administrative assistant for a wonderful architecture firm here in Seattle for about 3 years and while I was there, I was exposed to the marketing side of the industry. The fun of company advertising, the artistry of proposal writing, the exhilaration of winning the job. I wanted that. I wanted to experience all of those things for the rest of my career and after months and months of searching, I finally found my position as Proposal Coordinator for my current company.

One of the perks that my company has offered to me is continuing education through a marketing group that I joined and for the last 3 weeks (as of today), I have been working to grow my skills and knowledge yet again.

I’m finding myself in a weird mindset on days that I have class. I’m so excited about the topics and speakers, but the young truant in me whispers “skip… SKIP!”. I always fight the urge and enjoy my class of course.

In high school, I didn’t take notes. Now I do.

In high school, I skipped class constantly. Now I don’t.

In high school, I didn’t care about succeeding. Now I do.

Maybe its just part of growing up, you recognize what’s important in life and what you have to do to move forward. I care so much now about how I do in life and I want to take all the steps that I have to so that I can have the life I want to live.

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I’m going to post about my class again once it’s all said and done, but until then I’ll continue to work hard and try to move forward. I refuse to let my old ways hold me back again. I will use what I learn and succeed because of it.

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Forging a Relationship with Myself

I haven’t written in a while, completely breaking my own rules that I was dedicated to following when I first started to write this blog. Sadly, my moods have been controlling my actions a little bit more than I would like lately and it’s affecting my good habits a bit.

I will say that even though I don’t have my photographic evidence, I have been walking on the weekends, just in a grumpy sort of way that did not include picture taking.

But on we go….

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As I’ve mentioned before in this neverending story, a large reason that I really enjoy my yoga classes are the “intent” that my teachers offer us every class. Sometimes its something fairly broad, like a feeling, but other times it is something more specific, such as the intent offered yesterday.

Apparently Harvard finished a 75 year study about what truly makes people happy, a meaning of life type of mindset if you will. What they found was that it was not money or things that truly make people happy, but instead it is the relationships that we keep in our lives.

I thought about this a lot while I bent and snapped (if you don’t know this reference I highly encourage you to do some research) and twisted and unwound. I don’t have a million relationships with others, but the ones I do have range from general pleasantries every once in a while, to deep, emotional, close relationships. But then I started to go deeper.

What about my relationship with myself?

I never had a healthy relationship with myself, not until recently when I decided to make it a priority along with my other life changes. Its easy to not have a relationship with yourself. We are distracted by things around us and worries about others, not paying attention to what we are doing and how much we can turn into a completely different person then we used to know, without even realizing that it’s happening.

You catch yourself starting to do and say things that you wouldn’t have a year ago. Is it because something happened? Is it based on a feeling? An action committed by another? There are so many reasons it hurts my head thinking about it. In the end I don’t think it matters why we change as much as it does that we know we are, and that we are content with who we are becoming.

My first step was starting this blog. I’ve always been able to think better when I write, process thoughts clearer. I always feel that I can be a more honest person when words are written rather than spoken. I think that it is because of this that I’m starting to find a better relationship with myself. I understand who I am becoming as a person, a woman, and a spouse, and I’m learning to be more honest with myself about all of these things as well.

Along with this understanding and relationship I am forging, I’m starting to learn how to be my own person while still keeping the other relationships that are so important in my life. I am learning that I am my own keeper, completely, when I am honest with myself and that as long as I keep this relationship strong and honest, that I will be happier in all others.

Yoga Kicks My Ass… and I Like It

Have you ever done something that you knew was going to suck but you did it anyway? That made you suffer but you go back day after day? That makes you feel like you’re becoming Zach from The Try Guys while you do it, but then you come out looking like fucking Eugene?!

This is hot yoga and I am a yoga masochist.

I started going to yoga when I was in middle school per the request of my mother who didn’t want to do it alone. The tiny studio in the corner of the crappy gym was not exact a selling point to a 12 year old, particularly one who was blooming into her teen angst early, but I did love the exercise. It was calming and everyone was fairly intense about not being too close together so you always had room to move, and fall in my case.

Throughout the next 15 years, I would continue my on-again, off-again affair with yoga, from skipping it every day that I could in high school (asking an anti-social 18 year old to do yoga at 8am every morning just won’t work out for anyone), to trying hot yoga for the first time while trying to past the lonely nights when my husband worked until 1am. I constantly fell out of love with yoga, but I have always come back to it, time after time.

When I decided to start my journey of changing my life and myself, I knew that I wanted to go back to hot yoga and really dedicate to it. Having had so many injuries to my back, ankles, and shoulders, I knew the heat would be like pouring unicorn blood on my joints and perhaps keep me going back over and over. I ended up trying a studio near my work and after getting past the first few classes and feeling absolutely horrible, the endorphins kicked in and I was able to appreciate much more than just the workout that I was getting.

My teachers don’t just lead us through moves and positions, but teach us so much more. They discuss respecting ourselves and doing yoga with an intent, whatever that may be. That the energy we put into our practice can also be energy we put towards other things and have the same positive feeling and results. That we can learn to love and take care of ourselves so that we can love and help take care of others.

As someone who never learned growing up how to be emotionally supportive of myself, learning these practices now is teaching me to be better and care about myself more. I don’t think I would be trying as hard as I am to make my life better if these ideas hadn’t been presented to me. It has given me the tools to love myself and be proud of myself now, as well as who I will become in the future.

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